Hooray , stuck at immediate care for 2 plus hours for chest pains
Help my poor soul, if I even have one.
Honestly, I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I’m working a crappy dead end job, I’m not in school (and even when I was I screwed up too much), I have no particular skill sets, and so much more. The only thing I really have going for me is trying to be a nice guy but where does that get me??
I am full of sadness, full of despair, full of agony. I’m done pretending that I am this happy, go lucky type of guy. It’s too much to contain. And to the people who always tell me to be happy: I cannot change who I am.
I’m done. I’m done being the nice guy. I’m done being the one everyone comes to for advice. I’m done listening to everybody else’s problems. I’m done trying to be helpful, I’m done trying to be the hero. It’s high time I actually be what I was meant to be: a zero, a nobody, a loner and a loser.
Even the people who fake the smile and seem like they’re okay end up burning out. The walls they put up to hold back the sadness eventually wear down and the floodgates unleash.